Synthetic Children is the solo moniker of Te Papaioea (and soon to be Pōneke) based artist Celina Goacher (either/eyether, Monty Hall’s Problem, Khaki Department, bitch whistle). Through a tangled mess of hardware synths and drum machines she endeavors to create cathartic dancefloor experiences by navigating dissociative atmospheres via autotuned vulnerabilities, often discovering gender-euphoric climaxes atop weighty grooves. Her recent output spans experiments with guitar textures, blast beats, and emo on 2024’s ‘like a peeled orange sinks in water’, bubbling wonky love songs on 2025’s ‘Smooch EP’, and a blistering appearance on Big Fresh Collective footmahi compilation. Most recently in conversation with Tāmaki Makaurau’s AndWahn came the ‘Joint Effort EP’, 3 tracks of warping basslines climbing from dark garage depths into a soothing breakbeat bliss. Alongside Diesel Jenny on the ‘Backroom Smooches Tour’ across Aotearoa, the duo hit off some small-town virality in a Tūrangi community facebook group after some after dark sets at the iconic shopfront of Sanjay’s Selections dairy, home of the most bass boosted speakers in the Waikato, HQ of Bankrupt Records. “Palmy’s premier snack pack” (Diesel Jenny) is always keen to bring the rungle on the road to a city near you.
"a thudding, bumping, stuttering rumination on life"
